I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
