don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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