3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Plan B is the new Plan A
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
