I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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