Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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