I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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