so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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