i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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