Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
