grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize