I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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