Please, let me fuck your mom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
