I hope mine doesn't look like that
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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