hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
