Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need help removing her.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
