Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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