Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
