marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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