And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
