very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
