I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
