I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Quick, to the slutcave!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
