No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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