Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He literally asked permission to hit on me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
