I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
