Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize
