that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
