I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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