he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
