She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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