Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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