I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
please don't ironically join a cult
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