What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
