I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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