My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
