its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
