so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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