So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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