ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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