What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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