what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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