so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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