It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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