I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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