Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
