So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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