The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
