i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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