Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
