you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
