This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
