I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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